The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
they need to just BURY HIM!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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