Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
