So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
