I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
