If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
