I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
