How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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