So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
