Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
