he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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