I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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