if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
