well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
