We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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