Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
