You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
