rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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