whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
