You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
