I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
