i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
