Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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