The best revenge is premature balding
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i dont even know how to be here
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
