Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So squirting runs in the family.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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