I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
