I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
