it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
