so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
