im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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