i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
