I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
