i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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