We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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