he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
