CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
