I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
