dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
