worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
