this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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