whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
