Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've blown a few things in my day
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
