this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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