we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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