haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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