We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
