Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
