so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Shame - the story of my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
