just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
