she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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