Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
