This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
