Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
